To Be Free: Questions of the Heart

The key (for me) to writing a good song is that it must be true.  It doesn't have to be literally true.  For me, it was often the feelings that were true.  I mention this, because this song has pop song content- love, right?  But it is in a folk song structure- AAAA.  There's no chorus here.  That usually tells me that I wrote this, because I had to.

Is it rain falling or tears?
Is it thunder or your fears?
Is that smile a hiding place
To hide your soul from your face?
Got your back against a wall?
I'll be there through anything at all.

Tell me where does the time go?
Oh, will we ever know?
And it seems like I've been here before,
And I know that I'll be here some more,
I know my wish won't ever come true
But that's all I'm left to do.

I've been lost so many years
The answer's never been quite clear
I've been lost without a sign
Someday I'm gonna make you mine.

It it rain falling or tears?
Is it thunder or your fears?
It's been so long that I can't tell
Oh, I guess it's just as well.

This song is interesting to me, because I tried to cultivate the persona of someone who knew some things.  I used to like to think that I was pretty smart.  But it was a persona.  I wrote this, because of my crush that I couldn't do anything about.  I was too scared.  Nothing made me more nervous than feeling something for someone else.  I was a late bloomer, so I didn't have any experience with how to talk to girls.  In my mind, I had this idea that they would somehow find me. And yet, I knew that would never happen.  So I simply carried this weight around with me, and the song ends on a note of resignation.

When I produced this song, I wanted to capture that feeling of a crush.  The song soars to a climax in the third stanza.  That's the moment where you imagine the possibilities.  There's a person, and they're so close. You see them every day, and yet with one touch you enter a whole new world.  But the song doesn't ever get there.  It's just a promise, and the promise falls short.

On a side note, there is a through-line in these songs.  A side plot of sorts.  There's something about the rain that captivated me.  In fact, when I think back to when I was writing these songs, I wanted to call my first album Something About the Rain. I still think it's a great title. I just didn't have any pictures that fit.