To Be Free: Smile on Me

A few years ago I discovered that I was an HSP.  That stands for a Highly Sensitive Person.  It's a thing, honest.  About 15% of the population are on the spectrum.  A sensitive is someone for whom normal sensory input is amplified.  On the plus side, they can be particularly responsive to art, and music.  On the other hand, they can be overwhelmed easily.  A crowded room, a particularly shrill person, even bad lighting can disturb a sensitive.  I used to get head-aches all the time, but I never new why.  In hind-sight I see that it was because I had maxed out on sensory input for the day.

I couldn't tell you exactly why I wrote "Smile on Me."  I imagine it has something to do with HSP. Sensitives aren't just sensitive to their own emotions.  They can feel other people's emotions. I was easily influenced by other people's emotions.  High school was a departure from a sadness that haunted me in middle school.  I felt a kind of liberation.  I was finally someone that mattered.  I don't know why I felt that then, and not before, but I did.  But it seemed like some people were just so depressed about everything.  It bothered me.  Some days more than others.\

Smile on Me

How come nobody ever smiles any more

Smile to light up your face

How come no one even tries any more

Tries to make sense of this place,

It's this life-long journey that seems surreal

Nobody seems to know the rules

That ones who stand and the ones who feel

Are the people we label as fools

You can't be trapped by what’s on top,

There are better things buried inside,

You have to swim below the surface,

And pull it open wide.

Smile on me,

Smile on me,

Smile on me,

Can't you see?

That's what I really need.

How close can I get?

Before you turn away,

I can't stand a mouthful of regret,

So I guess I'll make my mistakes today,

I remember when I didn't look,

I always knew myself for sure,

But then I felt that desperate stare,

I never could endure.

I've been running- is it to or from?

I know I've been running so far,

You have to run to the ends of the earth,

To find your shining star

How come you don't smile anymore?

Was it that hard?

How come you don't try anymore?

It just tears me apart,

Cut off just to see your face,

Surrounded by these walls,

In a lost and lonely place,

In long and empty halls

I want to be the one that finds you,

And I hope that you find me,

I'm looking for that distant shore,

To set our spirits free

Smile on me,

Smile on me,

Smile on me,

Can't you see?

We need to set each other free.