To Be Free: I am the Storm

I Am the Storm

Here the song here. My last week at Undulata, I was in charge of the day-campers, which meant that I didn't have to sleep with any campers.  So I was all alone at night.  I'm pretty sure I wrote this one night while listening to a thunderstorm.  I can't say that I'm the best judge of my own music, but it kills me that at fifteen (and as early as fourteen), I was writing songs that are as good as any I've written since. I remember playing "With the Wind" with Dan for the Showcase auditions, and some cool senior sat next to me and asked if I had any other songs.  I played her this, and she was impressed.  In no other way would I ever be considered "cool,"  but I could make songs that were cool.

There's a weird darkness to the song, and you wouldn't be crazy for thinking that I had a real dark side, but I don't.  Only when I'm being creative do I create things that are really dark.  Still, the song is true if only on a fantasy level.  The song is inhabited with all sorts of villains: torturers, killers, but as bad as they are, I am the worst.  I am pure evil.  At least in the song I am.  I think a part of me felt like I was more likely to be attacked by villains.  I often felt defenseless, and I would often take meaningless slights very seriously.  Not that anyone else would know it.  By the time I reached high-school my tactic had been to create the facade of someone who can't be fazed by the actions of others.  I pretended to be impervious to harm, but really I just buried the pain deep below.  Of course, it would always come back up in zombie form, and music was a great way to turn anger in hurt into something that wouldn't hurt other people.

Downpour later played this song.  I mean, between this song and "Four in the Morning", you'd think we were a theme band, but actually the name has nothing to do with these songs. At any rate, it was one of our go-to songs from the beginning.  I'm pretty sure we played it at every show, so if you saw us play live, you heard it.  It was one of the songs that I brought to the band already finished that everyone liked.  Most of my other songs got rejected.  They were a tough audience.  I first tried recording it my junior year in high school, with a synth-string background, and a lead acoustic on top with a storm in the background (obviously had to wait for a storm).  I know, the synth strings sound very 80s, but to me they sounded like Dire Straits- the coolest 80s band at that time.

I kept the song briefly in my next band, Blue Fuse, and then the song went into hiding for a while. I resurrected it years later in a log cabin in St. Matthews.  It was just me and a four-track.  And then the song disappeared again until now. While there is a distorted electric guitar, the song wouldn't have fit on this album if I had recorded it the way Downpour would have played it.  We definitely wouldn't have had backing vocals, which is crazy because Bill Greene is a phenomenal singer.

Some are creepers,

Some are leapers,

Some are people sleeping in their mind,

Some are changers,

Most are strangers,

Chained in pain- I've met all kinds,

But me, I'm not like all the rest,

I won't say that I'm the best,

But one like me, I know you’ll never find

I am the storm,

I am the storm,

Watch out here I come,

I am the storm,

Ready to swarm,

There'll be nothing left when I'm done.

He's a swinger,

She's a stinger,

See the fling a thing of such misuse,

Now the dawn,

Has come and gone,

I hear the song of wrong and much abuse,

I am the storm,

I am the storm,

Things won't be the same,

I am the storm,

I am the storm,

The bringer of the blue eternal flame

He's the scorcher she's the torture,

They'll try to thwart you if there's anyway,

He's the gamer, 

She's the tamer,

They kill and main with no thought of yesterday,

I am the storm,

I am the hurricane,

I know when you've been bad,

I am the storm,

I am the torment,

I'm all the nightmares that you've ever had,

I am the storm,

I am the storm ,

I am the firelight,

I am the storm,

I am the storm,

It's time to say goodnight.

To Be Free: Four in the Morning

Four in the Morning

Dan Patterson and I began writing a lot of songs together.  We began one summer at Camp Undulata. We usually had time in the morning to create, while the campers were with the counselors who taught them how to ride.  This was one of the first songs.  I don't really remember.  I know that I was inspired by having written a letter to a girl that I had a crush on before the summer.  She finally wrote back, and it wasn't reciprocal.  Still, instead of being crushed, I was strangely happy. I had been so nervous, and scared, and the worst had happened, and the world hadn't ended.

At any rate, Dan and I sat in a Cabin and we began to turn the chords into a song.  I think the rain idea was influenced by the fact that in the cabin protected only from the elements by screens, you could literally feel the rain.  So if you were sad, and it was raining, you felt the rain and the sadness as one.

This song really has a rich history, because Dan and I played it with John Weiss when at showcase for my junior year.  By that point we were in a band (Downpour, see above).  I think this is what the song might have sounded like if we'd practiced more than once a week for an hour and a half.  In addition to not practicing, we didn't always agree on the direction of the band.  This was the song that kind of started our band.  See, Dan and I recorded us playing this song, and played it for John, and he really liked it, which was a bit peculiar, because John was into hardcore.

While there's nothing particularly brilliant about this song, there's something about it that resonates decades later.  I don't think it's nostalgia, but that may play a part.  The first time I rediscovered the song was when I was living with my band Satori.  It had been a challenging year.  I was living in a log cabin addition with no heat.  I remember sleeping with a wool cap on my head.  My relationship with my girlfriend at the time was tumultuous, and I had discovered that the other guys in the band were going back to school, and no one had bothered to tell me.

Well, I had a four track, and I began recording a bunch of songs, and this ended up being one of them.  Something about the rediscovery brought me back to that point when I was 15.  The song always finds me in moments, where I need to move from a sad place to a happy place.  It found me again this Summer as I rediscovered it.  Something about the last chorus lifts me out of the rain.  I hope it brings as much joy to you as it has to me.

Four In the Morning (C) by Dewey Kincade and Dan Patterson

It's four o'clock in the morning,

As the rain falls down,

I can see it gently falling,

As I look across the town,

The rain is gently tapping,

Against my window pain,

I can here her quietly calling,

Calling out my name

Rain on me,

Let the rain fall on me,

Rain on me,

Let the rain fall on me.

My mind begins to meander,

On days gone by,

Laying upon my bed,

No strength to even try,

I wonder why I failed,

To make the right choice,

It pains me to think,

Of the sound of her voice

Rain on me,

Let the rain fall on me,

Rain on me,

Let the rain fall on me.

The rain is waning and the clouds begin to lift,

My thoughts of yesterday,

Begin to drift,

As I look outside my window,

The clouds are gone,

The sun beckons me,

To search on

Shine on me,

Let the sun shine on me,

Shine on me,

Let the sun shine on me.