So something got broken my Freshman year. I came home from college feeling shell-shocked. I had a band, Satori, and we practiced and tried to gig. We played several shows in a barn. I think we played a show in a commercial venue as well, but the venue escapes me. I don't think it's just old age. I remember bringing the gear back to our practice space in my parents mini-van, and their was a light rain, and as I left my guitarist's neighborhood, I skidded out into a major road, and got hit by another car.
Everyone was all-right, but I remember doing a complete 360 in my car. There was a dent in the body, but both cars were driveable. The officer showed up, and she took a report, and we all parted ways. Then things began to get weird.
The next day I was lying in my old bedroom. My aunt, uncle and cousin were visiting, so I had to sleep in my smaller bedroom. The next day, reality seemed to be slipping away. When I found myself in a state that was near-sleep, the walls and everything would start to feel like they were drifting apart. I had never hallucinated before (or since), but it was a very disconcerting feeling. It went away when I got out of bed and began having my every day experiences. Something about the mundane reconnected me to reality, but again the next night I began to feel the sensation of my slipping out of tangible reality.
I never told anyone about this at the time. I guess I thought people might think I was crazy. In hindsight, it might have been the result of the accident the night before. I was physically fine, but maybe something happened.
That summer, I would often jolt myself awake, because I could feel myself slipping on many nights. It often happened, when I went to bed, and I wasn't exhausted. This song is about that experience. The song sounds impressionistic and abstract, but I was experiencing abstract and impressionistic moments, and it scared me.
The other part was Colorado. I went to my cousin's wedding in Colorado, and I had gotten terribly sun-burned on my legs. It hurt to walk. My brother, sister and father climbed Pike's Peak, but I couldn't go. They questioned whether I was that burned, and thought I might be lazy. At any rate, one night I woke up in my Great Uncle's house. I had found myself drifting again, and I awoke with a start. My heart was racing, and then I had this moment of terror. It was not just because of this drifting sensation, but I feel very isolated and alone. It was an unbearable feeling. I wanted to sob, but I also didn't want to wake anybody up, because I didn't want to explain myself, because I couldn't.
Whenever I think of the dark night of the soul, I think of that night. It wasn't until I had gotten back to Louisville that I wrote this song. The worst seemed to be over, but that wasn't entirely clear. That's why the song ends on such an uncertain note.
Dewey Kincade: Guitars, Vocals
Jeffrey Faith: Upright Bass
Steve Sizemore: Percussion
No comments:
Post a Comment